Alive and Well

This is going to be a slightly different post today. A reflection and remembrance more than anything. It's one of those God moments! His grace and mercy are so great! My last post was about my immediate family. There is another family member I would like for you all to meet. She is in heaven with her Creator and she is more whole now than she EVER was in life! Her name- Diana.

My mom grew up with three older brothers and two older sisters. Her oldest sister, Diana, ended up becoming sort of the black sheep of the family. The majority of her adult life was spent between living on the streets and finding shelter from people who only wanted money from her. She didn't make the best decisions. She did drugs, drank and smoked. She lived her life without a sense of purpose.

A few years ago, she finally cleaned her life up- at least a little more. She began reconnecting with my gramma and mom until three summers ago when she came to spend a week with us. This was the first time I remember meeting her. I didn't really know what to expect.

During that week, I saw so much joy inside of her, in spite of all that she had been through and was still facing. She made me laugh and I truly enjoyed spending time with her. I was able to share some of my poetry with her and I know it was a blessing not only to myself, but to her as well.

I remember her telling me multiple times in just that few days that she could tell that Andy and I were soul mates. He and I had only been dating for a MONTH! She said she could tell we loved each other, even though neither of us had even said that yet.

After her visit with us, I talked to her every once in a while. When I told her Andy and I were engaged, over a year later, she was so excited! She was planning to come to our wedding, but it would have meant her not having a place to live. She even bought a dress and everything, which she later told me she wore to church all the time. I told her if it meant her not having a place to live, I didn't want her to come. I would have loved for her to be there, but her safety and shelter were more important! Little did we know we wouldn't have another chance to see her again.

My birthday was in late October, and for my birthday, Diana sent me a card with three poems she had written for me. She knew how much I love creating and reading poetry. I have to say it is one of the best birthday presents I have ever recieved!

Just a couple weeks later, this past November (2011), my mom got a phone call that my Aunt Diana had gone into a coma. The doctor said it didn't look promising at all. My mom got online and booked a flight to California to see her sister one last time. My gramma was at my other aunt's house in Texas at the time, and she met my mom in CA. It was up to my mom to make the decision to pull the plug. To let her big sister go. This was a difficult process for both my mom and gramma. They were able to say goodbye one last time.

Taken just a couple days before she slipped into a coma. She was going to send it to my mom and gramma. This is the last picture we have of Diana.

My mom spent her time at the hospital reading my aunt's favorite scripture over and over Diana, praying over her and singing worship songs. Science may say that when in a coma, people are not aware of what's going on around them, but I believe that she knew my mom and gramma were there- praying over her and praising God. I believe in her heart- she was doing the same.

Just a few short days later, she passed away. Her body still and gone, but her spirit more alive than ever! There is no doubt in me that she is in Heaven this instant singing with the angels- ever praising her Creator!

I will leave you with the three poems she gave me for my birthday. There is no doubt in my mind from the words she wrote that she is in Heaven today! She didn't know it, but just a month after writing these, she would see the beauty and peace she wrote about. Enjoy, as I have enjoyed them!

#1
I stood on a mountain high
To look up in the shy
Talking to God through Jesus
Telling Him what a wonderful world he has created
Th trees, birds, butterflies and all of nature
But one creation I truly love is the people
The Christian warmth
And their loving ways
You can't beat it
You know them on the streets
By their smiles and sparkling eyes
You know Jesus is near
And you smile back without a word
Telling them how you understand
That there is no greater love
Than God through Jesus

#2
There was a man named Jesus
Who was tortured and beaten
He was a true believer
In his Father God
He never stopped believing
Even in the end
For he knew he had great wealth on the other side
Where there was peace and harmony
All around in this spiritual place
One like no other
Where the wild animals
And man come in harmony with one another
And this was called Paradise
It's full of beauty
Everywhere you look
That your heart is overjoyed
You are free of evil things
That can cause despair
So stay with the one who truly loves you
Who will show you the way
Of all great things
That you deserve

#3
God on high
Looking down on us
To see what we are doing
Believing in the Lord
Who is good
Or the devil
Who is evil
Go the right path
And you will see
All the beauty in the world
Go the wrong path
And all you see
Is the dark side of the devil
Eternal light is what I want
And happiness
So that the Lord is with me
The evil and devil will keep you
Down in love and spirits
So please stay with the Lord
For righteousness, lovingness and kindness

Fam(ILY)

What is family? Is your family those you share blood relation with? Is your family those friends you can't imagine life without? In Hawaii, the word "ohana" means family. This word is used not only for blood-relatives, but close friends as well. I would consider that true for myself. I heard a quote one time that I just love! "People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you figure out which one it is, you will know what to do for each person." I am grateful for everyone who has ever been a part of my life, but those lifetime people- I don't know what I would do without them! My friends mean so much to me, but even more than that, my family is my cornerstone! So- here's where I start bragging on MY family- at least my immediate family.

My sisters mean the world to me! We may not always get along the best, and I may not spend as much time with them as I would like to, but life without them- NO THANKS! Mary and Claire are both older than me and ever since I can remember, I have looked up to them. They are so talented and just a joy to be around! Except for that time when I was little that they told me the hairdryer would suck my brains out. Or that the sauteed onions in my food were worms my mom was trying to make me eat. Or when they told me to name one of my paper dolls Feces because it was a cool name. Or... well. I guess that's all in the past now! I always enjoyed being their guinea pig for makeup and hair (even if my brains got picked out with bobby pins a time or two). I always wanted to be around them, because more than just looking up to them, they were a comfort to me, and still are! I don't think they realize how much they mean to me and how much I appreciate them- and that's not something I should be proud of.

I have another sister as well. I recently had the privilege of meeting Allison. My dad had her before I was born and she stayed with her mom. I grew up never knowing about her until a few years ago. I finally found her and we started talking a couple years ago. She lives a few states away, but Andy and I were able to make it down there for her wedding this past October. Meeting her for the first time was like a dream! It was like finally meeting a missing piece of myself. I enjoy talking to her and getting to know more about her life. I just wish we lived closer so we could get to know each other even better!

My gramma is such an extraordinary lady! If there was ever one regret I had in my life dealing with other people, it would be how little I have shown my appreciation and love for my gramma. She has done so much for me and I have taken her for granted too many times. I remember watching Jeopardy every day with her when I was younger. I've also always enjoyed playing games with her too (except I could do without her Pictionary skills). There is so much more I could have been learning from her over the years. I have decided to ask her to spend a little bit of time each week to just hang out- just the two of us. I look forward to learning more about her life and just talk about anything in general. I love my gramma!

Last, but most definitely not least, my mother. My hero. My rock. She has been through so much hurt in her life. She has overcome so much. God has truly blessed me with an incredible mother. She loves God with everything in her and has lived her life as an inspiration to me. She has been my strength through so much, even though I'm sure in those moments she thought I wanted nothing to do with her. So many times I have been a total poop head to her, but what she doesn't realize is it has been those moments when I've been the most grateful for her!

I have been blessed with an amazing family. I wouldn't know what to do without a single one of them. My mom, gramma and sisters have all played a huge roll in who I am today. I thank God everyday for allowing me to be part of such an incredible group of women.

Does your family know how much you appreciate and love them? Don't let another moment go by without showing them how much they mean to you!

Well- I need to go make dinner. Or at least cook up the three pounds of hamburger meat sitting in my fridge before it goes bad! I hope you will join me for more Sarahnading later! Go make it a great day!!

BEARING GIFTS

So. Tonight I led worship in youth group. I realized that I am not near as organized as I need to be, nor am I a successful non-procrastinator. In other words- I'm REALLY good at procrastinating. Which maybe isn't anything to brag about.

The main thing I realized is how much joy it brings me to utilize the gifts that God has blessed me with. Singing and music in general is one of those things!

When I sing- whether in church or in my car- it makes me happy! But especially in church, or anytime I'm singing worship songs. It makes my whole spirit lighter and my mood happier. God has truly blessed my with a passion for music, and I enjoy being able to use that for His glory!

I suppose compassion would be another. Compassion plays a HUGE part in who I am. I love being around people, and helping others. But more than that, I love being able to comfort those who are hurting or sad or scared. I have been though hardships and trials in my life, and I know God has allowed me to face those and be victorious in order to pair that with the compassion He has gifted me with to help others through the same or similar situations. This is why Royal Family KIDS Camp is such a big part of me! And why I love and always want to work with youth. Teenagers face so many things and they don't always know how to deal- so if I can do my small part to help them, shoot! Bring it on!

Cooking- yeah. This is fun!!! I love experimenting and trying new things. I'm so grateful that my husband has a willingness and eagerness to try my creations. Sometimes they turn out great (my special Asian-barbeque chicken an original- and a tasty one!). Sometimes they flop (chicken meatballs-not so tasty!). But he never discourages me from trying (unless it's sugar cookies)! I have a passion and talent in cooking and have learned how to use that for God! I have taken over preparing meals for the youth group every Wednesday night. Tonight was chicken parmesan and garlic bread. The teens seemed to like it. It's just another way I can use my talents for God.

I also very much enjoy writing. I guess some may say I'm talented while others probably think I'm too random and not that great. All I know is it brings me joy to write- anything from blogs to poems to letters. God has blessed me with many poems and I would love to create a book of poetry someday! God lays things on my heart to write about and I enjoy following His direction in that. That's what tonight's blog has been. Learning yet another way to use what He has given me to give back to Him!

So- what are your talents? What has God gifted you with? Is it music? Drawing? Photography? Writing? Helping others? Cooking? Math? Yes- even math can be used to glorify God! Identify your God-given gifts and then pray about how you can use those for HIM! Maybe it's cooking meals for a group of crazy teenagers. Maybe it's coaching a soccer team. I don't know what your giftings are or what God has in store for them, but HE does! So take a step of faith and do something bold (or not so bold) with your talents! And let me know!!

Well- this is where I sign off for the night! This girl needs some SLEEP! Night everyone!

Here We Go Again...

So. I do this so many times. Start a blog and then forget about it forever. Well. Here's another one to add to my long list of half-blogs! Or maybe I'll just impress myself (and maybe you as well) and write on here for years to come. We shall see.

Let's see... Andy and I have been married for a little over a year now. So many people gave (and are still giving) us advice on marriage and what to expect. Wanna know a secret?? Well- marriage is nothing that you can truly ever fully prepare yourself for! Crazy right?! No amount of pre-marriage counseling or advice or reading can every prepare you. Truth is- everyone is different. And every marriage is different. The only thing you can do is know that WHEN things get tough or you just feel like strangling your spouse's neck (not that that's ever happened to US), that person is the one you fell in love with! The person you decided to spend the rest of your life with! You have to let the good times and memories carry you through those valleys. You will make it out if you let yourself!

I was listening to something one day about how the body works. More importantly- blood cells. The person on the radio or TV or whatever said that each individual blood cell has its own beat- that when isolated from all other blood cells, it will take on a rhythm unique to itself. But, the instant it comes in contact with another blood cell, it takes on the rhythm of the other and they in turn begin beating in unison- as one. It made me realize things not only about life, but marriage, and God.

I have to ask the question: how can anyone denounce God or the thought of a "higher being" when the very pieces that give us life interact so intricately with each other? I mean- a blood cell has a "mind of its own" but when it touches another, they beat as one, until you have millions of cells joining together to beat and give life. Really? I would love to have a discussion with an atheist regarding this!

Also- it made me think of the church. Many people believe that you can be a Christian and never go to church. I have to ask them in return: who is encouraging you in your walk and faith? Who is walking beside you in this crazy world? Where do you get your understanding of what God's Word says? I understand that God is all-powerful and reveals Himself in many great ways, but even God Himself said that it is not good for man to be alone. He created us with the intention of relationship. In the New Testament, Christ has a group of disciples- a group of men learning from him, training them to lead others. People are made to interact with people. Christians are made to interact with other Christians- in worship, learning, and living. The more Christians you are around, the more you will begin to "beat" as one and be more effective for Christ!

In marriage, this is so true! When Andy and I got married, we knew each others schedule and routine, but making those work together (especially with only one vehicle) has taken some getting used to. It's interesting though how much of our "separate" lives are now the same. We are our own people, but our lives have become one. We have learned to do life as one. It's a great thing also to have that companion that you know is beside you in everything you do, because when you are created for each other,  your hearts begin to beat for the same things. For Andy and I, it's youth and Royal Family Kid's Camp. We both enjoy being silly and watching movies. There's so much more, but it's great to have that person by my side that I know I can be exactly ME and he will love me. Why?

Because God created us to beat as one just like He created Christians to beat as one for Him and blood cells to beat as one to keep the body alive.

I guess this is where my train of thought ends for the night! Time to sleep to face another day! Hope you've enjoyed this Sarahnading and will join me for more!