Andy is a farm boy. He does not always have the right words to say to make me feel better. He dreams (like, in his sleep) about farming, and that is just weird to me. He sometimes gets preoccupied with work and does not always have the time to do what I would like because of it. He is very handsome, but sometimes he comes home dusty and dirty, smelling like whatever chemicals or grain he has been around that day. His fashion sense is non-existent. He is no Prince Charming.
And sometimes I fault him for not being what I expected. When he falls short, I wonder why he does not try harder. Truth is, he is one of the hardest working people I know. He worked his way through college so he could graduate debt free (happy dance!!). He spends extra hours at work, even on Saturdays in order to get the job done. He would go out of his way to lend a hand when and where it is needed. When he puts his mind to something, there is no stopping him. I am truly proud of his hard work and determination, and I love him all the more for it!
But can I tell you a secret? I do not always love my husband. WHAT?! You must be thinking I am the worst wife ever. But I think I would be a worse wife if I lied and said I did. And I would be willing to bet he does not always love me. Our marriage must be doomed, right? Nope!
Loving a person who fails is not always easy. Loving someone else when you yourself are not perfect is not always easy. Loving someone who gets on your nerves sometimes, who you sometimes disagree with, who sometimes says the absolute wrong thing, who does not live up to all of your expectations. That is not an easy thing to do. Sometimes you find that the love you have for them is nowhere to be found.
I do not always love my husband, but even in those moments, he is still my best friend. He is that one person that I want to talk to, laugh with, laugh AT, and just simply spend time with. God has given us the grace needed to get through those rough patches and come out with more love in our hearts for each other.
Marriage is not about having all the right answers. It is about discovering each other and learning to appreciate the things that make both individuals who they are. Andy may not always have it all together, and I know I am worse than he is most times. But together, with God leading us, we are invincible! God has given us strength and patience for each other.
I have learned a lot from marriage. But more than anything, I have learned that my husband will never be 100% perfect or 100% the person I need him to be 100% of the time, and I will never be those things for him either. And it is in those shortcomings that we learn to be a better couple. It is through those times that the love we truly have for each other is strengthened.
I have learned that I would choose a life with a stinky, goofy, strange, unfashionable, hard-working, encouraging man than a life with Prince Charming any day! Because Prince Charming would never get over the fact that my hair is not always in place, my make up is not always perfect (pretty much almost never), I am messy, and I do not always handle my emotions with grace. But my husband accepts all of that and loves me still.
I will leave you with a few pictures from a day that my hair and make up were perfect, we smiled all day (until it hurt), and we undoubtedly felt love for each other. (Photo cred goes out to http://www.orangepeelphoto.com/)
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| This was the look on my husband's face the first time he saw me on our wedding day. We did a first look before the ceremony, just the two of us (and our photographers), and we exchanged personalized vows that we wrote for each other. This look on his face is unlike any I could have even imagined! |
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| This sums up our relationship perfectly! We are goofy, and I would not trade it for the world! |
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| He kissed me on the tip of my nose before kissing me on the lips. Again, perfect! |
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